Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day!

What a very special day this is! Today is my sister-in law's birthday and baptism day as well as Father's Day. I look at some very special people in my life today and have to take a moment to give thanks.

My Dad: Growing up, I was always "Daddy's Girl" and I took great pride in that. I am not sure where we fell apart along the way, but I have great memories of my father. I remember him putting in Cinderella and watching it with me over and over, lying in my bed. My fondest memories are riding motorcycles and camping up in the mountains. I think it is from him that I gained my love and passion for the outdoors. I loved dancing with him at my wedding. One of my favorite shots on the wedding video is his hand placed on my back, both of us with a little tear in our eyes.

My Husband: He is a father. Point blank. He has been a father twice over and for that, I am so proud of him. He is the "father" to our puppy, Doogie, and he loves him so very much. I love sleeping every night to my best friend. In fact, I have a hard time sleeping when I do not feel him next to me. I am proud of the man he is and the man he continues to become. I love him times we make each other angry, but I think making up is an important part of marriage. I look forward to the day when I can make him a daddy. I see the way he looks at and loves our nieces and I just know, he will be an amazing father! I love you hunny bear!

My Father-in-law: I call him Dad. I love him to bits and pieces! How could it be that I could marry into such an unselfish, strong family? My Father-in-law is my husband's hero, the man he wants to become. I never hear him complain about anything. He loves and loves and never expects anything in return. He is a source of strength and inspiration for our family and I am so grateful for him! I love him so dearly as my own, and he accepts me and loves me like I have always been there!

My Step-Father: Chris loves my mom and that is the most I could ever ask from anyone! I love my mother dearly, and she deserves only the best! Chris has such a contagious smile and even though he hasn't even been part of our family for a decade, it seems like he has always been there. He is a strong willed man and I am grateful for him!

Grandpas: My Grandpa Jensen passed away many years ago, but I will always remember his amazing smile. I loved sitting and playing in the hot hub with him. He was always so proud of me and I take a little bit of him everyday with him. I love playing solitare because I remember watching him for hours playing, giving me all of his little tips. Matt never got to meet him, but we have both had special dreams about him watching over our little boy in heaven. We KNOW that my Grandpa Jensen is with us!
My Grandpa Willey: I love him for everything he is and does! He is one of the most unselfish people I know! I remember as a little girl he would give me the money to pay for lunch and I would always ask if I could keep the change. He has such an electric smile that makes me giggle like a little girl all over again. I love it when he tells me stories of when I was little...I feel so special! And his "whiskies!" I am a grown woman but I still have to ask my Grandpa for "Whiskies" every opportunity I can!
Grandpa Wilson: I am so grateful that he has accepted me as his own. What an amazing man! I am grateful for his love, his testimony, his priesthood, his smile! He shares such amazing stories and jokes. I love to hear him recite poetry. He has accepted me as part of the family and he is a great example to my husband.

I really could go on and on with other men who have loved me, accepted me, counseled me, held me during times of trial, comforted me, and been great examples to me. I have to mention just a couple:
Daddy Dennis Hill: Thank you for always being there for me! Thank you for your love, your support, your hugs! You have always just loved me as your own! I consider myself your "adopted daughter"!
Larry Petersen: Thank you for your humor, your laugh, your hugs. Thank you for welcoming me into your home and your family!
Kurtis Hill: What a fantastic brother you are! Thank you a billion times over for the friend you were and the brother you are! You are a fantastic father to your little ones! So much of the woman I am today, I owe to your friendship and love!
Ben and David: Thank you for always making me laugh! Thank you for being such great men in my husband's life. We are both so lucky to have you and we miss you!

Thank you to all of those I call "brother!" I have been so blessed an hundred fold and then some! Thank you for the worthy men, priesthood holders, fathers, sons, friends and examples that you are! I appreciate you! My life is full of men who do nothing but love and for that, I consider myself blessed on this Father's Day!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I'm still alive

I realize I haven't done a lot of updating. I think part of it is that I am waiting for something amazing to happen, and it just doesn't seem to be. We have put bids on three different houses and been outbid every single time. This last one was very upsetting because we walked into the house and felt so "at home." I could picture my little boys throwing parachute men off the staircase (and even jumping off and breaking an arm), late night book reading in my master suite, birthday parties in the back yard...we even overbid on the home by $7,000, but the house went for $25,000 more than the listing price. We didn't stand a chance. I even bought furniture, we were so certain and had such a great feeling about this one! I guess the furniture will really go in any home. :)

So, we have some frustration around the house. Thank goodness for an amazing realtor. She is in my in-laws ward and she said, "Maybe we are looking in the wrong places. Heavenly Father must have a special place for you prepared and we just need to find where that is." She said that her family would fast for us this Sunday to find the place where we needed to be. We have asked all of our family to do the same so we may "find the place which God for us prepared." In the meantime, we are so grateful to my in-laws for letting us bunk with them. I love them dearly!!! They are incredible people, but I think I am ready for my own place. :)

Somewhere around eighth grade I was diagnosed with clinical depression. It isn't something I am extremely open about because of the stigmas that so many people have about depression. One thing I am certain is that I am not faking it (as I was told so many times). I am seen by so many as a typically happy person, and I am! But things have been so hard lately. I try to stay positive, I try to keep the faith. I don't use my depression as an excuse as to why I have been so down lately. I am working hard.

Thank you for all of your kind words and support! I am so blessed to have such amazing friends and family! I love you all so dearly and I miss you!