Bug Bug, I am beyond tired, but I think I would be ungrateful if I didn't write tonight.
Your are my light and my life! I hope you know that your Mama loves you so dearly, so severely. I follow several blogs of Mommy's who have lost their babies and my heart is so heavy tonight. I cannot imagine their grief, their loss, their sadness. Since little Ethan in our ward passed, it has been very real to me that life is so short, so precious. I try to live every single moment with you to its fullest.
Bug, you are growing so quickly and doing so many new things each day. But what I want you to know is that your Mama and your Daddy love you so much. Every night when we go to bed we talk about you, how absolutely wonderful and perfect you are. We are so proud of you. I also want you to know that we both love our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ, very much! They are rocks and I am trying to learn to lean more upon them in times of trial or hardship. I sense that you are so close to them Steven Bug. You know them personally and I hope and pray you always do.
Thank you for blessing my life. I hope and pray I can watch you grow to adulthood and beyond. Thank you for choosing me as your Mama, despite all of my imperfections, my issues. I can't hold back the tears....Thank you for sharing your sweet testimony with me. As you usually do, you came into bed with me this morning and cuddled. You put your sweet arms around me and asked me to put my arms around you. "Hug!" you said. When I tried to break away because I was worried my big head was squishing your little arm, you kept saying, "Hug. Hug." We laid like that for a good long while. A tender mercy of our Lord and Savior. So I am going to fill this day with hugs and kisses for you. I love you dearly Steven Bug!!!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Temper Tantrums
I love my 2 year old, more than life itself, but I gotta tell ya, these temper tantrums are about killing me. My friend told me her little boy had a tantrum in the store and she set him in the isle and went around the corner. He freaked out so bad he never had another one. Apparently, I am not as lucky. The longer I ignore, the bigger tantrum he throws. Now, I try not to react because I have a theory.....
A lot of it has to do with my religious beliefs. We believe that we lived in heaven before we came to this earth. When we came to earth we passed through a veil that helped us forget our pre-earth life. Please know, this next bit isn't part of my LDS beliefs, but simply my personal thoughts. I think the veil is very thin for little babies. I really believe this because I have witnessed my own little on talking to angels and other beyond the veil. I am 100% certain my Grandpa and Grandma Jensen who have passed on had a huge hand in delivering my son to earth (more on that another time). Right around the age of 18 months-3 years or so that veil gets very thick. Why? Because children learn to speak, to express themselves with words. So, they get frusterated...they don't have the words and the angels they used to talk to have "disappeared" from before their eyes. Hense, temper tantrum central.
I usually do a really good job being calm during his tantrums. Today, he threw a big one at the park. I gave him a choice to come and play or lay on the ground and cry. He chose to lay on the ground and cry. At first I was really embarrased, but after the first couple of minutes I kinda ignored it. He knew I was right there to help him out when he was ready. He got up after about 7 minutes of screaming, a big tear puddle on the ground and rocks all over his face (not one of our prouder moments as a mother/son team) and he was just fine.
The day of the pictures below was a particularly awful day. He threw his breakfast all over the floor, spilled his milk, threw his trains at my face, wouldn't let me change his clothes or diaper without a fight...I was whipped before I started. At nap time he wouldn't cooperate either. I left him in his room to cry it out (of course I gave him the chance to make a better choice). Within about 10 minutes the crying stopped. I tried to open the door and he was laying right in front of it asleep. Poor tiny baby had temper tantrum cried himself to sleep. I ran for the camera!
I did go in and pick him and rock him. I feel awful, but I know two won't last forever. It is one of the most rewarding, sweet times as well. He is in such a discovery mode. I love this little boy so much!!!
A lot of it has to do with my religious beliefs. We believe that we lived in heaven before we came to this earth. When we came to earth we passed through a veil that helped us forget our pre-earth life. Please know, this next bit isn't part of my LDS beliefs, but simply my personal thoughts. I think the veil is very thin for little babies. I really believe this because I have witnessed my own little on talking to angels and other beyond the veil. I am 100% certain my Grandpa and Grandma Jensen who have passed on had a huge hand in delivering my son to earth (more on that another time). Right around the age of 18 months-3 years or so that veil gets very thick. Why? Because children learn to speak, to express themselves with words. So, they get frusterated...they don't have the words and the angels they used to talk to have "disappeared" from before their eyes. Hense, temper tantrum central.
I usually do a really good job being calm during his tantrums. Today, he threw a big one at the park. I gave him a choice to come and play or lay on the ground and cry. He chose to lay on the ground and cry. At first I was really embarrased, but after the first couple of minutes I kinda ignored it. He knew I was right there to help him out when he was ready. He got up after about 7 minutes of screaming, a big tear puddle on the ground and rocks all over his face (not one of our prouder moments as a mother/son team) and he was just fine.
The day of the pictures below was a particularly awful day. He threw his breakfast all over the floor, spilled his milk, threw his trains at my face, wouldn't let me change his clothes or diaper without a fight...I was whipped before I started. At nap time he wouldn't cooperate either. I left him in his room to cry it out (of course I gave him the chance to make a better choice). Within about 10 minutes the crying stopped. I tried to open the door and he was laying right in front of it asleep. Poor tiny baby had temper tantrum cried himself to sleep. I ran for the camera!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Birthday Pary Time!
2 years old...
There was NO question that we were going to do a Thomas the Tank Engine Birthday Party! Our amazing friend, Ali, helped plan it. She is absolutely amazing in every single way! She made the stellar cake too! You are so loved by so many people Bug!
Then we played Red Light, Green Light. Steven opted not to play.....
Then we went in to have some party treats before we cut the cake. I think everyone really just wanted to dig into the amazing, beautiful, YUMMY cake at this point. Matt also made delicious homemade ice cream. He made Oreo and Strawberry.
Steven did so well with his "Happy," as he calls it. He is a very shy guy, but he was so excited to blow out his candles. He was smiling as we all sang Happy Birthday to him. We had been practicing for a couple of weeks at blowing at the candles and he did a stellar job!
Waiting as patiently as little ones can for cake...it was delicious!!!!
And then it was time to open presents. He did such a great job opening presents. In true kid fashion, everyone wanted to help and Steven did a good job letting them, sometimes. It was so fun to see him get excited to pull off the wrapping paper with such excitement. He was truly excited about every single present, taking a moment or two to examine every gift before moving onto the next one.
The gang that came: Emily, Tariek, Tacoya, Emmy, Severen, Lydia, Lillian, Joseph
Adults: Lori, Ali, Sister Lambert, Kurtis and Rhonda, Stephanie, Mama and Daddy
There was NO question that we were going to do a Thomas the Tank Engine Birthday Party! Our amazing friend, Ali, helped plan it. She is absolutely amazing in every single way! She made the stellar cake too! You are so loved by so many people Bug!
Emily, Joseph, Lydia and Emmy hangin out before the party started.
First, we went downstairs to color some Thomas the Tank Engine Pictures. That didn't last long. Everyone wanted to go outside. We did a Relay race with boiled eggs, going from one of the yard to the other. I was really impressed at how well the kids did. We only had a couple of egg tragedies.
Until he saw everyone running for his Mama. He cracks me up!
Then we went in to have some party treats before we cut the cake. I think everyone really just wanted to dig into the amazing, beautiful, YUMMY cake at this point. Matt also made delicious homemade ice cream. He made Oreo and Strawberry.
Steven did so well with his "Happy," as he calls it. He is a very shy guy, but he was so excited to blow out his candles. He was smiling as we all sang Happy Birthday to him. We had been practicing for a couple of weeks at blowing at the candles and he did a stellar job!
Waiting as patiently as little ones can for cake...it was delicious!!!!
A list of your gifts:
Emmy and Lydia: Thomas the train pillow and book, "Crack in the Track"
Lamberts: Fire Hose and Toy Story Board Book
Joseph and Emily: Thomas whistle and "Whales and Dolphins" book
Tariek and Tacoya: Shake and Go Thomas
Lillian and Severen: Bridge Track for your train
Daddy and Mama: Firetruck puzzle, Thomas pjs, Fish Puzzle
Adults: Lori, Ali, Sister Lambert, Kurtis and Rhonda, Stephanie, Mama and Daddy
Party favors were a Thomas art kit with a little pad of paper, markers and a ruler.
We love you Bug Bug! Happy Birthday! You deserve it all...and more! What you have given us cannot be bought, described or ever repaid. I love you more than words can express. Happy Birthday Steven Bug!!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Super Heroes
I know, I know...Another post about my sweet baby and his dog, but is there really anything else exciting to post about in my life? I think not.
One afternoon, I asked Steven if he wanted to put his cape on. In his own way, he told me not unless Wally had his cape on too. Of course, I obliged and then we went outside to play. (At least the boys think we went outside to play. We really went out for a photo opportunity). I am sneaky that way. These two best friends ran around the yard and didn't have a care in the world...a boy and his dog. I am so grateful to Wally for his patience, his love, his compassion for my boy. Steven never goes to sleep without Wally laying right next to the bed. They are truly the best of friends.
One afternoon, I asked Steven if he wanted to put his cape on. In his own way, he told me not unless Wally had his cape on too. Of course, I obliged and then we went outside to play. (At least the boys think we went outside to play. We really went out for a photo opportunity). I am sneaky that way. These two best friends ran around the yard and didn't have a care in the world...a boy and his dog. I am so grateful to Wally for his patience, his love, his compassion for my boy. Steven never goes to sleep without Wally laying right next to the bed. They are truly the best of friends.
My 2 year old!!
Yes Bug, you are 2!
It is very hard for your Mama to believe, but I wouldn't have it any other way! I wanted to share some of your accomplishments and stats.
At your 2 year dr. appointment, you absolutely would NOT stand or sit on the scale. They guesstimated, and I know they said it low.
Height: 37 3/4 Inches, in the 99%
Weight: Best guess of 33lbs, 93%
You are growing like a weed! You did an excellent job for the doctor, telling him names of animals and their noises. You even knew your shapes which surprised him! He asked you to blow out the light on one of his instruments and you kept asking to do it again. You had one shot, but you barely even noticed it. You didn't even cry (which is great because I was not sure I could handle you crying by myself!)
Interests:
-You absolutely LOVE trains, particularly Thomas. You play for hours and hours with your trains. You and Daddy love to build tracks together. You are pretty good at building them by yourself, too.
-You also really love "diggers." You look for them everywhere we go. It makes for a fun car ride, looking for diggers and tractors. You see one and then say, "Nother one." You also love playing with your digger trucks.
-Trucks...you love them all. You don't discriminate. :) You are such a boy, true and true.
-You are a pretty good little reader!
-You love to go on walks in the stroller and rides in your bike trailer. I love you in your cute little helmet! You know you have to wear your helmet so you can be safe like Dora.
-Speaking of Dora, you love to watch Diego and Dora and Boots. You also really love Thomas. We don't let you watch very much TV, but those shows make you so happy.
-We love to play outside. Just a couple of months ago you couldn't stand swinging and now it is one of your favorite things to do outside.
Favorite Foods:
I think this really depends on the day. One day you will eat something and the next you won't.
-You have been asking for and signing "cookie" a lot (even though you don't eat it half of the time).
-Ramen noodles: you will seriously eat an entire package all by yourself (at least the part of the package that doesn't end up in your lap.
-Strawberries with whipped cream
-Cottage cheese with applesauce for breakfast. I usually can't get you to eat anything else for breakfast.
-Shepherds Pie and Hamburger cheese bake are some of your favorites that Mama makes
-Lately you have been asking for bread. You won't eat it if I put anything on it, you just want a plain piece of wheat bread. (funny kid!)
*I don't think we will take you back to a restaurant until you are 12. It is a lot of food throwing, tantrum having, not eating the food we paid for, etc. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being with you, maybe just not in a restaurant setting for awhile.
Words:
Mama calls you her little parrot. You do such a great job repeating everything someone says!
-You have started to call you Dad, "Daddy." It is soooo sweet! I have to be careful to also call him Daddy because you occasionally like to try to call him "Matt."
-I love when you say, "Tickle." You scrunch up your little face, grin from ear to ear and then try to tickle anyone who is around.
-Hide!
-
Favorite Books:
-The Biggest Bear: We have read it so much you can tell me which page is next and can even finish sentences for me. It is about Johnny and his bear who eats maple sugar. The way you say sugar is priceless.
-Love you Forever
-Anything about tractors and diggers
-Books about shapes: You know most of your shapes very well!
-You love when Daddy read the Book of Mormon to you in Portuguese.
Interesting Facts:
-You have started to be much more kind to Cousin Emmett and the girls. You just woke up one day and decided because you are 2, you can be nice now. (well, most of the time. The other day you pulled a big chunk out of Lydia's hair. Opps....guess we are still learning).
-We love to play hide-and-seek when Daddy gets home. You say, "Hide" and run off somewhere. Most of the time, however, you jump out when you hear Daddy getting close.
-You are still pretty shy. Very rarely will you talk to someone at the store, even if they ask you a question. You will sometimes smile at them, but mostly with your head down.
-When the girls or Emmett come over to play, you run up to them and give them big hugs. You have such a big heart!
-We are working very diligently on learning the names of colors. I think you know them, but you try to trick us. When we ask what color something is, you mostly say purple or green.
-You have started to want to say the prayers over food or when we do family prayer. Typically it looks like you reapeting the last word of a sentence, and you say "AMEN" at the end. I am such a proud Mama!!
-You love to sing "Book of Mormon Stories," "Popcorn Popping," "The Wise Man and the Foolish Man." You know all of the actions to them and it is adorable to watch you sing them. You are also pretty good at "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" and "Do As I am Doing" and "Jesus Wants me for a Sunbeam."
-When you kiss someone, you give them your big raspberry kisses, except me. We want to kiss me right on the lips. Believe me, I LOVE IT!!!
To celebrate on your actual birthday we went to dinner at Red Robin. You were in your true 2 year old fashion and refused to eat any of your food and had a bit of a tantrum at the table, but all in all, you were pretty good. You were flirting BIG TIME with the waitress, but still acted very shy. They came over to sing to you and bring you icecream. You hid your head behind me, but ate some of the icecream after they left.
It is very hard for your Mama to believe, but I wouldn't have it any other way! I wanted to share some of your accomplishments and stats.
At your 2 year dr. appointment, you absolutely would NOT stand or sit on the scale. They guesstimated, and I know they said it low.
Height: 37 3/4 Inches, in the 99%
Weight: Best guess of 33lbs, 93%
You are growing like a weed! You did an excellent job for the doctor, telling him names of animals and their noises. You even knew your shapes which surprised him! He asked you to blow out the light on one of his instruments and you kept asking to do it again. You had one shot, but you barely even noticed it. You didn't even cry (which is great because I was not sure I could handle you crying by myself!)
-You absolutely LOVE trains, particularly Thomas. You play for hours and hours with your trains. You and Daddy love to build tracks together. You are pretty good at building them by yourself, too.
-You also really love "diggers." You look for them everywhere we go. It makes for a fun car ride, looking for diggers and tractors. You see one and then say, "Nother one." You also love playing with your digger trucks.
-Trucks...you love them all. You don't discriminate. :) You are such a boy, true and true.
-You are a pretty good little reader!
-You love to go on walks in the stroller and rides in your bike trailer. I love you in your cute little helmet! You know you have to wear your helmet so you can be safe like Dora.
-Speaking of Dora, you love to watch Diego and Dora and Boots. You also really love Thomas. We don't let you watch very much TV, but those shows make you so happy.
Favorite Foods:
I think this really depends on the day. One day you will eat something and the next you won't.
-You have been asking for and signing "cookie" a lot (even though you don't eat it half of the time).
-Ramen noodles: you will seriously eat an entire package all by yourself (at least the part of the package that doesn't end up in your lap.
-Strawberries with whipped cream
-Cottage cheese with applesauce for breakfast. I usually can't get you to eat anything else for breakfast.
-Shepherds Pie and Hamburger cheese bake are some of your favorites that Mama makes
-Lately you have been asking for bread. You won't eat it if I put anything on it, you just want a plain piece of wheat bread. (funny kid!)
-You still really like mandarin oranges. I found these little clemenrenes a the store and you peeled one yourself a couple of days ago. I was so proud of you, and you were proud of yourself. Of course, you didn't eat more than one slice afterwards, but I guess peeling an orange is hard work!
*I don't think we will take you back to a restaurant until you are 12. It is a lot of food throwing, tantrum having, not eating the food we paid for, etc. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being with you, maybe just not in a restaurant setting for awhile.
Words:
Mama calls you her little parrot. You do such a great job repeating everything someone says!
-You have started to call you Dad, "Daddy." It is soooo sweet! I have to be careful to also call him Daddy because you occasionally like to try to call him "Matt."
-I love when you say, "Tickle." You scrunch up your little face, grin from ear to ear and then try to tickle anyone who is around.
-Hide!
-
Favorite Books:
-The Biggest Bear: We have read it so much you can tell me which page is next and can even finish sentences for me. It is about Johnny and his bear who eats maple sugar. The way you say sugar is priceless.
-Love you Forever
-Anything about tractors and diggers
-Books about shapes: You know most of your shapes very well!
-You love when Daddy read the Book of Mormon to you in Portuguese.
Interesting Facts:
-You have started to be much more kind to Cousin Emmett and the girls. You just woke up one day and decided because you are 2, you can be nice now. (well, most of the time. The other day you pulled a big chunk out of Lydia's hair. Opps....guess we are still learning).
-We love to play hide-and-seek when Daddy gets home. You say, "Hide" and run off somewhere. Most of the time, however, you jump out when you hear Daddy getting close.
-You are still pretty shy. Very rarely will you talk to someone at the store, even if they ask you a question. You will sometimes smile at them, but mostly with your head down.
-When the girls or Emmett come over to play, you run up to them and give them big hugs. You have such a big heart!
-You have started to want to say the prayers over food or when we do family prayer. Typically it looks like you reapeting the last word of a sentence, and you say "AMEN" at the end. I am such a proud Mama!!
-You love to sing "Book of Mormon Stories," "Popcorn Popping," "The Wise Man and the Foolish Man." You know all of the actions to them and it is adorable to watch you sing them. You are also pretty good at "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" and "Do As I am Doing" and "Jesus Wants me for a Sunbeam."
-When you kiss someone, you give them your big raspberry kisses, except me. We want to kiss me right on the lips. Believe me, I LOVE IT!!!
We love you Bug!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Birthday Letter
Dearest Steven Bug,
I cannot believe you are 2...2...where did the time go? It seems only yesterday I was holding your sweet, tiny, pink little body in my arms for the first time.
I don't think you will fully comprehend the unquenchable, deep, pure love I feel for you until you have a little one of your own to hold in your arms. I know I didn't. The minute you were placed in my arms, I fell hard, head over heals in love with you. At that moment, I was pretty sure I couldn't love anyone more, but I was wrong. See, over the past two years I have fallen deeper in love with you.
Every moment I get to spend with you, I love you more and more. There are time I feel my heart will literally burst from my body with the love I feel for you. I thank our loving Heavenly Father multiple times a day for you. I am so very grateful to Him for sending such a sweet spirit into our home. I often don't feel worthy to be your mother, but I am beyond grateful for the opportunity. Being your Mama makes me happier than I have ever been in my entire existence. Up until, I felt so incomplete, like there was a huge void in my life. But I now feel so complete, so full, so complete.
You bring so much joy to my heart and my life, joy I didn't think was possible to feel, joy beyond comprehension.
Your smile melts my heart. Your hugs make me incredibly happy. Your kisses...how do I put it into words? Your kisses make me proud to be your mom! You have a testimony of our Heavenly Father. You know He loves you and you are his child.
Steven, I am so proud of you. I am proud of the good choices you make, the sweetness you share with your friends, your dog Wally and your parents. I am proud of the great accomplishments you make everyday. I am proud and happy to be your Mama.
I know there will come a day when you won't let me rock you to sleep or won't want me to kiss you in front of your friends, or hold your hand anymore, but those are the times I cherish the most. I love reading your a story and then rocking you to sleep. You don't fit in my arms very well anymore...your legs hang most of the way down my body, but we fit together. Your heart and mine, beating as one. I love holding your sweet little body against mine. I appreciate you for letting me have those quiet moments with you. I will cherish them forever.
Happy Birthday Steven Bug! Always know your Mama loves you...
I love you forever,
I like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be!
Love always and forever,
Mama
I cannot believe you are 2...2...where did the time go? It seems only yesterday I was holding your sweet, tiny, pink little body in my arms for the first time.
Happy Birthday Steven Bug! Always know your Mama loves you...
I love you forever,
I like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be!
Love always and forever,
Mama
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