Tuesday, July 13: 12:30am
I had the urge to go to the bathroom. Really, at being 9 months pregnant, this happened to me on a regular basis. I felt a little bit of wetness as I was getting up and the only thing I could think of was, "Oh man! I can't believe I am 28 years old and I wet the bed! I hope Matt will change the sheets for me!" As I pulled my pants down and sat on the potty, I realized I had not wet my pants, but I suspected my water broke. I yelled Matt's name and surprisingly, he got up on the first yell. (He is a super heavy sleeper!) "I think my water broke!" I was concerned because there was blood in it as well and when I looked in the toilet, it looked as if I passed a HUGE blood clot. I didn't know what to do, so I asked Matt to call the Ask-A-Nurse Line we have with our insurance. Of course, they said they couldn't determine what it was over the phone and suggested I go in. Well, I wasn't having ANY contractions, so I googled. All things pointed to my water breaking, but I read only 15% of women's water break before they are in labor. I also read that I had 24 hours to get baby out without the risk of infection. I got onto facebook and luckily my friend Tracy was online. She convinced me to call the on-call doctor. This was about 2:30 am. Because of who I am, I felt awful calling anyone at this time of day, but I got a very similar response and that is they could not determine what happened, but suggested I go into the hospital.
Matt was running around the house like a crazy man trying to get everything ready to go. I suggested he shower and then I would. I even folded a batch of clothes and unloaded the dishwasher. If this was the real thing, I wanted to come home to a clean house!
4:00am: We called Matt's mom and asked if we could bring the dogs over. She was luckily, on the couch with the phone in her hand, almost as if she was awaiting our phone call. At this point, I still haven't had a single contraction, so I was convinced I was NOT in labor.
4:45: We arrive in Parker at the hospital. They hook me up to monitors and do a strange little test, where they determine that undoubtedly, my water had broke. By this point, it had almost been 5 hours, and no contractions. They checked my cervix and I was a good 3-4 they said. My birth plan was to birth at home as long as I could before I even went to the hospital. This was the first thing that didn't really go the way I had "planned" it to go. I loved being hooked up to the monitor and hearing our little boys heart! It is a strange joy that I will remember forever. It beat next to me all day long and I am so grateful, looking back, to that comfort, knowing he was right there with me.
I was put into a room and left on the monitors that monitor baby's heartbeat and contractions. My contractions were still not very strong, if really anything. I was told I would need to be put on pitocin to get my contractions moving. This is thing #2 that didn't go the way I had planned. I wanted an all natural birth as much as possible. I was very reluctant, but of course, it is all about the safety of my baby.
12:00 Noon: My doctor just happened to be on jury duty for a major trial this day and I was told she wouldn't be here. I was really upset and to be honest, the on-call doctor was not my favorite person. She came in and let me know the pitocin wasn't at a high enough dosage and we were going to basically be tripling the dosage as I was still barely having any contractions. She also talked to me about having an epidural put in because with the pitocin being tripled, my contractions were going to come harder and faster. However, I was still determined to do it as much naturally as I could. She also suggested it because "if I had to have a c-section it would be much faster and easier to get the medications administered through the epidural." C-Section? Did she really just say those words? I told her that would not be happening.
The next few hours went quite quickly. As the doctor said, the contractions were awful! However, I still wasn't dilating. I opted for an epidural, (thing #3 that didn't go the way I planned) and to be honest, it wasn't as bad as I thought. The anesthesiologist was so very gentle and explained everything to me. He was incredible and I am so grateful to him for his patience and kindness! At about 5:30they came to check me again and I was still at a 7, and she said it wasn't even a good 7. She said the word "C-Section" and the entire room started to flood with people. I was being asked to sign a paper letting me know during the surgery my baby's head could be cut or if there were complications I would be sedated and a tube would be inserted down my throat and all sorts of horrible, awful things. I was appalled because I hadn't even said I would consent to the C-section. I was still planning to deliver vaginally. I was in hysterics, crying and demanding answers! Like I said, I hadn't even been asked if this is what I wanted.
Then, like an angel from heaven, MY doctor showed up. She would be doing the c-section. I was grateful for that at least, but thing #4 that didn't go the way I planned or wanted. I felt like things were going so fast, too fast! I asked everyone to step out of the room for 5 minutes so my husband and father-in-law could give me a blessing. I am so grateful that I made that one request and it was honored. It calmed my thoughts and my body.
I will spare all of the thoughts, worries and feelings I had while on the operating table! At 6:35pm I heard my baby's cry for the first time. It was something I will never be able to describe in words. My husband and I cried and I told him to go and be with the baby, that I would be okay. I heard from across the room, "9 pounds 1 ounce." Matt said I said, "Is that all? I could have pushed him out!" It was quite awhile before I got to see my little one. When I was wheeled back into my room, my husband was there with our little guy and I just stared. This perfect little angel was our creation. After 5 years of struggling to have a baby, here is what came out of it. Again, words cannot describe what I was feeling. I held him and nothing else mattered. It didn't matter how he got here or anything I worried about. What mattered was here he is...perfect, beautiful and wonderful!
I spent 3 days in the hospital and went home Friday afternoon. My little one is growing and amazing me every single day! I am so grateful for this blessing that I have been given and I hope that I can raise him up in a way that Heavenly Father sees fit. I hope that we can raise him to know his is loved by his parents, his Heavenly Father, and that he is a special Child of God.
