When I was 17 and graduating high school I thought I had my entire life planned out ahead of me. I was going to Rick's College, and there I would meet the man of my dreams, be married in December, have our first child within the year, and another every two years. He would be a doctor, make enough money that I could stay home, raise our family, have a yard and garden, a big house, go on trips, and live happily ever after. I realized by the time I graduated with barely having a date in college, my plans would be significantly different.
I didn't marry until I was 22, I had a career, and it is hard work for happily ever after. (I think it is a journey, not a destination!!) Fast forward 4 years: We still don't have any children, no house or garden, we occasionally get out for a trip. This is not what I imagined as a teenager! But I am grateful for what is. Some days, I seem to wallow in my self pity of "Why can't I get pregnant?"or "Why me?" But I try to make those days less and less. Today, I am grateful. I have been working 50-55 hours a week and feeling very tired and missing my hubby, but I had this morning to ponder, soul search, reconnect. I found blogs of people I know who have been in similar situations, where life has not handed them what they dreamed, at least in the way they dreamed it. My heart is full, and yet it aches for others who so desperately want their dreams fulfilled. I don't understand why it is the way it is. But I do trust that there is plan for each of us, despite what we are struggling with. I love you and I thank you for your constant support and prayers! I hope that no matter your struggles, you are able to find peace and love!