Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Late night thoughts and ramblings

I have contemplated many times about starting a blog just about my infertility struggles, and it is definitely something I am still pondering. My dear friend said I should just add it to this blog because people want to know what is going on, but I always feel like I am whining and venting.

I feel so compelled to write tonight, despite the fact that I am tired and I have a 14 hour day tomorrow. I'm not really sure what I am supposed to say, just that I need to express some things that have been on my mind as of late.

Please, my dear friends, do not be scared to share with me about your joys, your successes in getting pregnant and the amazing things your children do. I am the happiest, proudest aunt in the entire world and those two little girls make my life worth living everyday! I love hearing of your excitement and everything happening in your lives. Is it hard? You bet! But the thought of being left out, or the thought you worrying about offending me hurts me the most. Please, continue to share and let me rejoice with you!

My heart aches. I try to stay happy and upbeat, and I feel like maybe this post is happening because I haven't had a really good cry for a couple of weeks. Perhaps this is the catalyst for it to happen. There really isn't a handbook on feelings and what we are supposed to feel during different struggles in our lives. So I would encourage everyone, despite whatever you are going through, to just let it come. Don't hold back.

I know this is completely random, just things that have been on my mind as of late, but I would like to share a bit of a quote from a fellow LDS blogger also dealing with infertility issues.
"The next time any of us sees a sister in crisis, I hope we will shut our mouths and open our arms. Share your opinion if need be, but cushion it with love and compassion. A hand to hold is worth a thousand pieces of advice. "

Sending my love! Thank you for opening your arms!

11 comments:

Adam and Kym said...

I feel for you tonight. I really hope that my advents today did not make things harder for you today. Please know that I am always here for you. I love you - you are one of my greatest supports and I want you to know that I am here for you too. You are in my prayers.

The Figgins said...

I sure love you Branders. I wish I were closer to give you hugs but virtual hugs will have to do today.

Criscell said...

We all need a good cry now and then! You're continually in my thoughts and prayers, Brandy! Love you!

Suzie-Q said...

Oh Brandy girl! I love you! I bet there is something in the works for you and of course it will take a lot of praying to figure it all out. Sending you lots of hougs and love- Suzie-Q

The Adams family said...

Thank you for your post! I feel alone at times because we having a hard time getting pregnant. We are just about to the hit the year mark! At times it is hard to find the balance between being happy for other while mourning that which we don't have. I have done really well until it was in the family. Aaron s brother is having a baby which means we are being lapped! This was the first time I really felt the pain that I am sure you have felt. I am glad that you talk about what you are going trough because I feel like I have no one to talk to! Thank you!

Kat said...

Brandy, I am Kym's friend Kat. I have been following your blog for a little while. She has told me about your struggles, and i want to give you a HUGE hug. I have been at a place that you are at, I know the pain and the heartache. It took me 4.5 years to make my daughter a big sister. My children are all my miracles. I want to let you know that it can happen, and when you least expect it it will :) Don't give up! I don't know you personally but i do have faith that some day you will be an amazing mother! Huge hugs and a million prayers :)

The Stanford Bunch said...

I think it is interesting how we all have our trials and it is good for us to hear from others so thank you. Here I am complaining about my kids because they can be so difficult sometimes... I hope you have a merry christmas!

Holly said...

I really liked what you said about opening your arms more. I was just talking to Bert last night about I need to be a more 'huggy person'. I really love you Brandy and love to read your blog. You are such an example to me! Have you read the VT message for this month? Bro. Uchtdorf's quote made me think about trials in a different way. If we were perfect and didn't have trials then we wouldn't need our Savior and wouldn't have him as a companion. It really made me think and I loved his quote! Hope you have a good Christmas! I wish we were closer!

Get Bent said...

My love goes to you Brandy. I really appreciate your post. I am starting to understand what you have been going through these past few months-- a gal in my ward got prego after not even a month of being off of birth control, and we have been trying since June. But I just try to remember that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and it will happen when it will happen. But my heart goes out to you. You are so strong, and just having a prayer in my heart helps me get by. Much Love & Hugs.

Emily said...

I love you Brand! Don't ever feel bad for posting about your feelings and struggles. You aren't whining. It's not a small thing you are going through. I can't even pretend to understand it but I am sorry! I know that Heavenly Father loves you and has a plan for you. I'm really learning lately that we have to take a step into the dark sometimes and eventually the light will follow. I know that words won't change your situation but a talk that has helped me through some tough times is "An High Priest of Good Things to Come" by Elder Holland. It's awesome. I love you and am praying for you!

Rhonda said...

I love you, Brandy! I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through but I know that you are one of the most amazing people I know, and I so wish I could give you a hug right now. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas and you'll be in our thoughts and prayers! XOXO