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Friday, February 20, 2009

So Sad to say...

We did not get the house. We found out today. I am on a bit of an emotional roller coaster, but everyone keeps saying not to give up, so I'll try my best. I have been trying to look for more houses, but they all start to look alike. I really had my little heart set, but I don't believe in accidents! We only have a month left on our lease, so we are hoping something just falls from the sky. Onward and upward I suppose. Thanks for all of your prayers!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Sunbeams and Houses

It seems as if I have so much going on, yet nothing really to report on! We have been looking at houses recently and boy, is it crazy! I blogged about one house out in the country, but it was under contract before we even went to look at it, so that was out of our hands. We have found another one up by our stake center which we both really like and we put an offer on it. It is super popular and there have been a lot of bids on it, but hopefully we will hear back soon. I am realizing that I don't really like to keep my pocketbook so extremely tight, but I will do what has to be done.

Every house I go in, I start making it my own. I picture paint colors, where I would arrange the furniture (that we don't have!!), where I would hang the pictures. I find that I make up houses in my mind too. I take bits and pieces from one parts from another to form the house I want. It is quite a daunting, scary task! When we were signing the 14 pages of paperwork with our realtor to put an offer on the house, I nearly had an anxiety attack! I asked if there was any way just Matt could sign the paperwork because I don't do well with that sort of thing. She laughed and said I could sign power of attorney over to Matt to act in my name, but that would just be more paperwork. :) We all had a chuckle at that.

The Wednesday before Valentine's Day, I was finishing up some things before heading off to work. I hear little footsteps prancing up the stairs. I ran to the door and I was told to shut it. I stood on the other side and listened as little hands taped hearts to my door. I stood on the other side just crying! My little tiny Sunbeams (past and present) had "heart attacked" my door! It was so incredibly sweet! Later, one of my Sunbeams came by with a little bucket that was all decorated that says, "Reasons why we love U." Inside they had written little Valentines. There was also Riesen candies and inside each candy the children had mentioned something they loved about me. I about couldn't stand it! My door full of hearts! I love that they are all on the lower half of the door!
And the sweet bucket of love they gave me!

What an answer to my prayers! I have been questioning my faith and my Heavenly Father lately. I did something I know I shouldn't have, but I asked for a sign that He was aware of my INDIVIDUALLY! I have been feeling so left behind and pondering my self worth, and this was truly an answer to that prayer! I know that very strongly! So, thank you Lindee and everyone else involved! I love my little Sunbeams with all of my heart and my biggest hesitation in moving is leaving those little ones behind. I know that someone will come in and the kids won't even bat an eyelash, but it breaks my heart to even begin to think about it. Thank goodness for Sunbeams! This is my two favorite boys in the entire world on Valentine's Day! Matt and I made dinner at home and then he took me to the Stake Dance! I love him so very much and I am so grateful for his love! And Doogie is truly a blessing in our lives!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Miracles

Every year the week of Valentine's Day, a local radio show does something they call "36 hours for Kids." They raise money for Children's Hospital here in Denver. Every year, I am touched by the stories of children who go through trials that no one should ever have to! I am touched by their lives, their love, their hope, their relentless spirits. I often show up to work during the week with tears in my eyes, and today was no different. I often play the "woes me" game and they "why me?" game when really, I have life pretty darn good!
I have really realized today how precious life is! You never know what is going to be thrown your way. We have little control over the future, but part of the battle is finding joy in every journey.
I am also including some of my favorite stories that inspire me to want to be better. (make sure you have a bunch of tissues handy and don't forget to turn off the music at the bottom of the page.)



My sister-in-law, Molly, was born with a disease called epidermolysis bullosa (EB). Her skin is missing collagen 7 which means her She has been blessed by children's hospital as well. Matt and I became Miracle Makers 3 years ago and donated in her name. It is the best $15 a month we can spend. We never know what tomorrow will bring. Enjoy every moment of every day.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Hello and welcome to a boring post

It seems as if our lives have been pretty boring, uneventful, yet in the same breath, so busy I can't seem to get caught up on everything. Work has been incredibly busy lately. I haven't worked under 50 hours since the beginning of January. We just have so many extra things to get done. I think as a teaching team, once we stop being reactive and start being proactive things will be much easier. But we have to get caught up from everything we as a team, didn't do the first time. I'm all on board, I just hope everyone else is as well.

Another crazy stressor in our lives is trying to decide what to do when our lease is up end of March. We really thought we had until the end of April, so have been kinda procrastinating. Two months is MUCH shorter than three! We have been house hunting, thinking of moving in with Matt's parents for a couple months, even considering apartment life again. We went out to my friend's home for the Super Bowl last night and we stumbled across the most beautiful home we have seen yet! (Well, we haven't seen inside but we peeked in the windows!) It is 2336 sq. feet and on 5 acres of land! Don't ask me what we would do with 5 acres of land! And it is totally reasonably priced! It goes up for auction later this month so we are going to try to get all of our affairs in order (by the 18th) and perhaps attend the auction. If we can offer less, we would be sitting really good. The only thing is it is about an hour away from my work and 45 from Matt's. But if we could be out in the country, away from the city, with the most beautiful sunsets, stars that go for miles, it just might be something to consider. We'll see. I can't really make up my mind one way or another. I keep hoping my sweet husband will recieve some amazing revelation that will tell us where to plant. He is pretty good about that.

Last weekend, Matt's parents went to Vegas for some alone time and we stayed with the four kids at home for four days and three nights. (I say kids, but there are two 17 yr. olds, 14 and 7). It was definaly crazy though. I lost a lot of sleep worrying about the youngest ones milk pump, and all sorts of crazy things. I wonder if I will ever get caught up on sleep! One thing it made me realize is that I'm just not ready for children. I have heard people say, you are never really ready, and I can piggyback that. We'll see. I don't foresee any children in our near future.

I enjoy catching up on everyone's lives when I get a moment. I love you all dearly!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

My "other" blog

So, I was able to take some time this morning to get my other blog up and rolling. Again, please don't feel obligated to visit. A lot of it is going to be my personal journal and journey. Thank you all for you love and support. I will keep this blog updated with our everyday life. Love ya!!
http://brandysinfertilityjourney.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A New Blog

This is a decision I have been thinking about for a long time. I have pondered back and forth in my head what it would look like, if I really want to manage two blogs, what would be the implications, etc. but the time has come.
A lot of times when I post about my inferility journey here, I feel like I am doing a lot of whining and complaining, when that was not my intention at all! I wonder, who would really want to read about my rants and raves? So, I have made a personal decision to start another blog strickly about my journey through infertilityland. It will be more of a personal journal for me with links to others going through the same journey. I will still keep this blog and be better about updating more regularly, with my "happy news" that goes on in our everyday lives. I am working on getting it up and ready and as soon as I do, I will post a link if you want to read.
Thank you for your love and support. I feel like this is really for me and a place I can openly share about my struggles. Thank you! I love you all dearly!!

Christmas, just a little late

Christmas was fantastic! We love being with Matt's family, and how excited we were to have so many wonderful people to share in the day with. The Celebration started on December 23 because Ben, Angela and the girls were going to surprise Angela's mom in Utah for Christmas. It was like having two Christmases!
Of course, I am human and love recieving, but the true joy in Christmas comes in watching the excitement of the little ones, so to see my two nieces open their gifts was more than I could ask for.
Hannah and her new dress Nana made with her puppy and bed that Grandpa hand-made behind.
Reagan got a purple princess dress!
My beautifiul princesses!


On Christmas Eve my Mother-in-law always has an amazing spread of food, and this year was no differant! Nannie and Grandpa, Matt and I, their family, and about 3 other families were there. 21 people in all!! Everhthing is decorated precisely and of course, everything tastes delicious! But of course, the real fun starts after dinner! Dad reads from the Bible and Book of Mormon the account of Christ's birth. Every year, something else stands out to me. Because of where I am, I really felt for and sympathized with Mary. What a strong woman, and I know she had some divine helpers for her birth! From there, we act out the Nativity. It is always quite the production! Dad is always the donkey (poor donkey....Mary can't even ride him anymore!) Matt and his brothers are always the "3 Wise Guys," but with 2 of the wise guys missing this year, improvisions had to be made. I have to say that the step-ins were pretty good. A little more serious, but they did great! With so many people, Carolyn (she always write the play) had to add some pretty crazy parts. Mom and I were the manger. Boy, did my arm get tired! :)


After the play, we "act" out the 12 days of Christmas. The funny one this year was 6 geese a laying....looked a little more like 6 constipated geese to me, but quite the little play!
Christmas morning is such a joy with 4 young ones still at home. Nannie actually let us sleep in until about 6:30. That in itself was a treat! What a morning! The rest of the day was full of love and movie watching and snacking on treats!




Molly and I baking with her Easy Bake Oven. Brought back so many memories!
Nannie made the two vetren's special quilts. They are absolutely beautiful!