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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Baby A is on the Way!

It all seems so surreal.
I keep thinking it's a dream and I will wake up, and it will all be gone.

Since I was a little girl, the only thing I really ever wanted was to get married and have a family. When I wasn't married by the time I was 20, I thought I was watching my dreams crumble before my eyes. In fact, Prince Charming didn't come to get me with his big white horse until I was 22. When we had been married a little over a year, we decided it was time to go off of birth control and start trying to grow our family.

It didn't work.

In fact, we tried relentlessly, endlessly, tirelessly....hopelessly....for five years. We had been through test after test and the only thing that came back was one of my hormones was low. Clomid was the answer. My doctor said we would try three rounds and then start talking about in-vitro options. I thought I had been punched in the stomach. How could it be that the one thing I want, had prayed for, had even gone so far as to ask Santa Claus for, was evading me? In every other sense of the word, we were happy.

One round of Clomid. I got through it and I asked a fellow instructor, "So, am I pregnant yet?" (All of the students call her a Ninja because she is just that intuitive!) She did a couple of things and said, "I think so. Go take a test." So I bought a pregnancy test. It was negative.

I told Ninja it was negative. She looked at me again and said, "Yeah, I think I was mistaken." But I have had literally dozens and dozens of negative pregnancy tests over the past five years so it wasn't a big deal to me. And a week later, I decided to test again for some reason.

Positive.
Two pink lines. I didn't believe it, so I did it three more times.
And then again a week later to make sure it wasn't a fluke.
And then again a week later because I still didn't believe it.

November 11...Our missionaries would be moving in and I knew I had to tell Matthew. I went to Target and bought these cute little baby football shoes and wrapped them up. I got out my recorder and gave him the box. "What does it all mean?" he says. "We are pregnant!" My great big husband became putty. Since, he has taken care of me, catered to my every throw up and cry of pain. He is everything and more than I could have ever hoped for.

Our due date for "Baby Blue" (as we have been calling the baby) is July 22, and we couldn't be any happier. I have been sick Sick SICK!! Even now at 16 weeks I have to be extremely careful about what I eat because more than likely, I will throw it up. I have started eating with the thought, "Yeah, I think this will taste okay coming back up." But I will take it. I will take every bit of nauseousness, heartburn, swelling and sensitivity to smells that I can. Because it means I am not dreaming. It means baby is really in there. It means Blue is healthy.

One thing I have learned from all of this is it has nothing at ALL to do with MY timing. MY timing means nothing. I can sure tell you, this is not the time I would choose to have a baby. Raises haven't come through for two years and Matt is out of a job. And I always said I didn't want to be pregnant during summer. MY time means nothing. I think Heavenly Father is saying, "Trust me my daughter. I have this all worked out, if you would just trust me." And so, I am learning more to trust. I am learning more to relinquish control because, there is a greater plan.

17 comments:

James and Tricia Thomas said...

I am sooooo happy for you guys!!!! Congratulations!!!! I started crying reading your post! You two will be such wonderful parents!!!

Holly said...

Oh Brand! I am so excited for you! Congrats! I'm so glad your dream is finally coming true! I know what you mean about being sick and I'm sorry!! It isn't fun to constantly feel nauseous! I'm so happy for you and I love you!!

Tara said...

Brandy I am so happy for your family!! I can't think of anyone who will be a better mother than you. You are in our prayers and thoughts. CONGRATULATIONS!!

Jenny Axford Cook said...

That is so wonderful! You will be such a great mom!!!! Congrats!

Darci and Ryan said...

I have been checking your blog often to see if you would update. SO HAPPY to hear the news! You will be an amazing mom. Check my blog soon for a little update of my own. ;-)

Savannah said...

Tears of joy!

Rawlings Family said...

So excited for you guys. You had me crying there. What a good attitude you have. I'll tell you when I puked my way through my pregnancies I wasn't always happy about being pregnant. I hope your sickness goes away soon. and just......YAY!!!!!

Misty said...

Congratulations again!!! It is such exciting news. Good luck with your pregnancy!!!!

Carrie said...

I am sooo happy you have Morning Sickness!!!! Well, not happy you're sick, but you know exactly what I mean. Congratulations!!! :))))

Suzie-Q said...

There is a plan and we never really know what is going on. I love it though when somehow you get a tiny glimpse at what is going on and you have that"ah ha" moment. Or you think it for this and then it ends up being that.
I am so excited for you. Being a mom is wonderful.many ups and downs.
I totally understand the whole being sick thing too. I am one that is sick the entire time. With my first I lost over thirty lbs. before I started gaining. It was scary. Just remember you have lots of people who are around to help you, and try and answer question you might have.


YEAH!!!!

The Figgins said...

You are awesome Brandy! Congrats!

Get Bent said...

I am so happy for you guys! I would recommend staying AWAY from spagetti at all costs, Brandy. That is all sorts of bad coming back up. I love you & am so thankful that you guys got pregnant! Congratulations!!!!

French Family said...

I teared up reading that. We're so happy for you Brandy! You will make such a great mom!

The Stanford Bunch said...

CONGRATS!!! Wow! I can't even imagine how you feel! I hope the pregnancy gets easier for you!

~Our Family~ said...

congrats!! See dreams do come true.. I know how grueling the process is I have been there but I had to turn IVF.. I did get pregnant first try and now he is 5.. Anyway thats so exciting.. i hope that you will be feeling better soon... Enjoy it

Emily said...

Congratulations Brandy! I really am so happy for you! I hope you start feeling better. It's never fun to be sick, even if it is worth it.

Criscell said...

I am SOOOOO happy for you Brandy!!! You SOOOO deserve this!! CONGRATS! You'll be a fabulous mama!